Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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