party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
