So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
