Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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