i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize