the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
