Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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