Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
