we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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