you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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