I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
