Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
