i don't like sucking hair
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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