Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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