How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
