I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
