speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
