Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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