He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
