Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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