Who did Billy Mays play for?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
