apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
