Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
