we'll go far in life on tits alone.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize