I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
