# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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