Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
