Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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