Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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