I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Randomize
