He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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