my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
