Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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