What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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