Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
