I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
