i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
