The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
