Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
