someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
