covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
