I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
