I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
