he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
being pregnant is like rehab
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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