so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Mom said you looked used
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
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