He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize