Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
