She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
