is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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