So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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