and she was petting her beer can
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize