Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize