I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
