how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
