I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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