jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
there is glitter all over my balls
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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