So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
