i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
