Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
