how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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