quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
where are you?
Hypothermia
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
