this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
