Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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