Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
