Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We need to get me chipped asap
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize