whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
