Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
