I can't watch pbs sober anymore
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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