Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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